Sometimes there are no words but His:
“Here I am Lord; I Come to do Your Will”
As I tried to sing these words at Mass all I could focus on was not coughing. I have had a dreadful cough for over a week that has kept both my husband and I from having a good nights sleep. To soothe my aching throat and so I didn’t interrupt the beautiful children’s choir with my ugly coughing I stoped signing and merely read the words:
“Here I am Lord; I come to do your will.”
Yes here I am Lord. In your church. With your people. I am here obediently and lovingly worshiping you. I am here because you allowed me to be and you put me into existence. As if that isn’t profound enough I am suddenly struck by the promise I am making in next line:
“…. I come to do your will”
Your will. I am telling God I come to do your will, but so often I do my own will. How do I know the difference?
When discerning His will and making decisions about what to do next we must always keep the end in mind. By this I mean our death in this world and our ultimate meeting with Jesus. When Jesus guides our choices and our actions then we are doing His will. When meeting Jesus is our goal we can’t help but try and try again to follow His commands. In doing so we are trying and trying again to do His will.
Next time I read psalm 40 (I pray that I can sing it without a fit of coughing) I will be reminded that I am promising God that not only am I here because of His grace but I am promising to do His will.
You Are Loved!
I recall being pregnant with my second child and wondering how I could ever love another child as much as I loved my first. I didn’t think I had any space left to fit another child in my heart. It was already so full. Then she was born and suddenly my heart swelled. I had just as much love for this little one as I did for my first.
This blissful feeling is so overwhelming when a new baby is placed in your arms. It’s not difficult to imagine loving this little human and protecting it from harm. You can easily imagine putting your life at risk to keep this precious new life safe. This love and safety that is automatic towards this new little human is the closest feeling I can come up with to describe Gods’ love for each of us. Of course He doesn’t question if He has enough love for more humans, He tells us to go forth and multiply. He knows He has more than enough love for all of us. It is us, humans, who don’t always have enough room for Him.
When I think of someone who loves me I immediately picture my own mom and dad. It truly didn’t matter what I did they always loved me. I pray everyone has at least one person that comes to mind when they think about who loves them. There is something that is strengthened inside of us when we know we are loved unconditionally. This kind of love gives us courage and a feeling of security.
Sadly there are many people who don’t feel loved. They don’t feel that there is someone that will love them no matter what. We live in a dysfunctional world where love is twisted, confused, and manipulated. Even if no human person comes to mind, or if you question weather those who are supposed to love you truly do there is always God. He never takes His love away. No matter what you have done or are going through He always loves you!
He loves you in exactly the way you need. A way that we can’t even understand completely because it is so unchanging. He doesn’t love you only when you do good. He loves you always and because of this He desires your happiness. He gives us rules to bring us happiness. He knows what is best because He knows each of us so completely. He doesn’t want you to be alone, to be scared, or to feel unloved. He wants to walk with you on this journey and at the end of this existence He wants you to be with Him for eternity.
He loves each one of us so much that He has a plan for good for each one of us. Even if we choose to stray from His plan we can always choose to come back to it. He is so good that He will continuously help us find our way back to Him. He is the ultimate guide to happiness because of His true love for each of us.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son…” John 3:16 NAB
Photo: pixabay.com
Eve asked Adam, “Do you love me?”
“Who else?” He replied
The priest we have when we go to the cabin always has a funny story or joke. This weekend was no different. Our large family took up an entire pew at this little church and we tried hard not to be a spectacle, but completely failed. It seems it is inevitable that we get stares and do some entertaining during mass. Not in a disrespectful way but just naturally by having so many children. It seems it should be the one place where we shouldn’t get stares for having a large family. Unfortunately there are not a lot of young families at mass. I wonder if God is asking these missing families, “Do you love me?” I wonder if he is asking the families that are there, “Do you love me enough to share me with others?” What if we told people about the love Jesus has for them? If they really understood I don’t think they could stay away, even if they have a gaggle of children to tend to during mass.
I love the rosary almost as much as I love the mass. It gives me a peace that can only be from Jesus. However, I have always struggled with the mystery of the ascension. Why would Jesus leave? I’m sure the apostles struggled with this too. They must have felt abandoned, lonely, confused, and maybe even unloved. We heard this past Sunday from the gospel of John chapter 14 verse 28; “If you loved me you would rejoice that I am going to the Father; for the father is greater than I.” We are reminded in this to love Jesus. To rejoice in the fact that He is ascending to heaven. The very place He died to open for us. He has gone to be there with His father who is The Almighty. There is no question about His love for us. He even asks his father to send us an advocate, the Holy Spirit, so that we can be reminded of Jesus’ love for us and not use the fleeting feelings we as humans experience as an excuse to forget what He has taught us.
His love for us cannot be denied, it is our love for Him that falters. So as we prepare to celebrate Pentecost, the great gift of the Holy Spirit, in just a couple of weeks I will be praying;
“Come Holy Spirit fill me with your love so I can trust in You. So I can spread your love to others and encourage them boldly to love you back. So we are all strengthened by your love and have no choice but to live in it and share it.”
Gratitude; Part of the Light of Christ
Until I had Jesus and the church in my life I lived in the shadows. I wasn’t willing to let my guard down and truly enjoy or grieve things. I always kept the thought in my mind that I would be let down so I shouldn’t get my hopes up. I didn’t have a true understanding of trust. I was putting my trust in myself and in other humans, this leads to disappointment. When I chose to put my trust in God I was shown that He will never disappoint. I was given the light of gratitude which produces joy, peace, and hope. I will still experience pain and suffering but I can see past that because of the joy He has blessed me with. The joy in knowing Him. The joy in His beautiful creation. The joy in the promise of eternal life with Him.
Before opening up to God I missed out on a lot of true joy. I didn’t allow Jesus to fully shine in me. I thought I was protecting myself from pain and suffering but I was guarding myself from His blessings. Experiencing pain without the joy of God holds no hope. That is what draws me to Christ. The light of hope that can’t be burned out. The peace and the joy He gives that can be shared over and over and never run out.
This wall around my heart robbed others of joy too. The hugs I held back. The smiles I froze before they crept across my face. The words of praise I swallowed. The excitement I kept inside. The tears I didn’t shed with another…
There are people I know who can’t hold back their joy. It radiates from them. They have so much pure joy and peace that even in horrendous situations their eyes still glow with a light that can only be Jesus shining from within them. He lights the world around them showing them all the good that exists and these joy-filled people are grateful. They are grateful for every good that they see because they do not drown in the darkness they seek out things to be grateful for.
I think that the light of Christ is flickering in me and I continue to fan it and fuel it in hopes that the rest of that wall will be burned away and I will be able to fully embrace and share His light with others. It is a gift that each of us can receive from Him and as it burns brighter inside of us it can be a light to others who are looking for peace, joy, and hope.
I have started a gratitude journal. It is amazing how it changes your outlook. It has become a concrete way of fanning the light of Christ inside me. Everyday it is a new challenge to find moments to be grateful for. To seek them out and thank God for them in prayer.
Here’s a little sample from my gratitude journal:
For new pink rubber boots and the little feet that went into them
For big sister who held hands with the little ones and splashed in spring puddles
For the smell of dinner
For a case of the giggles with my big kids
For the moment we both got up with the baby in the night
At times the things to be grateful for are so small they may be overlooked if they are not being sought intentionally. The things to put on the list can be difficult when anger, fear, or doubt are clouding the view and at the same time there is never so dark a day we can’t find something to be grateful for. Jesus gives thanks at the Last Supper. He knows what is coming; His betrayal by friends, His arrest, His torture, His crucifixion and yet He gives thanks. He shows us how to be grateful for all the good that God has blessed us with. He gives us light to shine in the shadows and encourages us to be grateful.
Denying Ourselves One Thing For Lent
Lent is a time for more prayer, extra fasting, and more focused alms giving. Translation for those who may not be catholic: for six weeks before Easter we prepare our hearts for Jesus by doing more prayers and/or bible studies. We do some self-denial and more fasting than other seasons of the year. We give to charity in a more thoughtful or prayerful way than the rest of the year. It is a beautiful season when Catholics and many other Christians together do these things to bring ourselves more in union with Christ.
There are so many ways to pray and study the Bible. There are also hundreds of good charities to donate time or money to. In this post I have only focused on sharing some of the self-denial, or what to give up for Lent, ideas I have had. This is in no way meant to make the prayer and alms giving traditions seem less important! Maybe those topics will be a post for another day.
There is something so satisfying in denying ourselves. It is meant to make us little, take away excess, and give us strength. It can help us open up to more from God when we give ourselves less. It’s really great to do this all year round but Lent is a special time to unite ourselves with Jesus and His suffering for us in the passion (His suffering and crucifixion).
Each year I spend quite some time deciding what one thing to give up for Lent. I make a list and have a hard time picking just one but I think that’s part of the challenge. It’s easy to give up or give in when you have too many things you’re trying to do. So I narrow it to just one. Sometimes it seems silly at first only to prove after six weeks it was actually very hard to do. Some years I have picked something I hope will become a habit after Lent. Other years I pick something that will make me appreciate what I have again after six weeks away from it.
Many of us give up chocolate and sweets for lent. When I do this I feel wonderful by the second week of Lent. By the end of Lent I feel better than ever. Then it is Easter and we celebrate with so many sweets and chocolates that I again am hooked and feel a bit gross and sugary again. Maybe I’ll try this again and hope I can make it stick. I do like to pick a sacrifice that I can continue after Lent. One that can become a new healthy and holy habit.
One year I decided to give up time everyday to pray the Rosary. Sound overwhelming? 15-20 minutes a day of quiet uninterrupted time to pray. All of us are busy and it can sound impossible to add another task in, but it worked. After that Lent I have rarely missed a day of the Rosary. It has become precious time with Jesus that I don’t want to go without.
Another Lent I decided I would not use plastic bags. I bought six heavy-duty cloth grocery bags and stuck to my guns. Even at the embarrassment of my children. At first it was hard to remember to bring my new bags into the store. So when I checked out and realized I had forgotten them I would ask the cashier to watch my stuff while I quick ran out the car to fetch my bags. If I just had a few items and forgot my bags in the car I would carry them out in my arms. Finally the kids started to remind me to take my bags in so they wouldn’t be mortified by their crazy mother again. This habit stuck as well and now 95 percent of the time I use my cloth bags.
Sometimes I have chosen things that I do not continue after Lent but they are things that have brought me closer to God because my gratitude and appreciation grows as the suffering brings me closer to God. Once I gave up socks. It was awful! Stinky, sweaty, cold feet for six weeks. Another time I gave up my pillow. This too was quite uncomfortable. There was a year I decided I was buying too much. I gave up buying extra items. So for six weeks I had to remind myself to only buy the necessities. These simple luxuries when taken away filled me with a longing for them. That is the point right? To create a longing that can translate into a longing for God.
There was one Lent when I was given a cross to bear that was so heavy I didn’t pick anything else to give up. My mom was put on hospice care and I devoted my time to her. There are years when our life circumstances demand almost more sacrifice than we can take but God gets us through when we allow Him to. So don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t come up with one thing to give up because your life is already sacrificial. In these times giving up a pillow or candy seems quite insignificant. However, every sacrifice great or small can be used by God!
This year my daughter and I decided to give up something together. We debated and finally we have agreed to not sit on chairs or couches. We will be sitting on the floor and standing for six weeks. I anticipate this is going to be harder than it seems. I am envisioning some strange looks in waiting rooms and a sore backside but it’s about a little suffering. I just have to look at the cross and realize my little suffering isn’t so bad.
I love Lent because in denying ourselves we can become holier people, closer to God, because by cleaning out the excess and/or comfort in our lives we make room for Jesus to dwell in us. And with our little sacrifices we become closer to the suffering of Christ which can unite us more strongly to His love.
Blessings to you this lent!!
If you are still looking for ideas of something to give up for lent here is a list of some concrete possibilities:
No Chairs or Couches
No sleeping past your alarm
No pillow
No socks
No chocolate
No plastic bags
No sugar
No blankets
No mattress
No silverware
No make-up
No snacks
No unnecessary purchases
No Radio
No TV
The options are endless….
(Photo from pixabay.com)
What Kind of World Do We Live In?
(Photo: pixbay.com)
It seems a world where peaceful children can be brutally harassed by adults. A world where men can lose their job and their character is slandered based on accusation. A world where adults think it’s loving to allow children to do whatever makes them happy. A world where we are afraid to send our children outside to play but not afraid to let them play murderous games on their gaming systems for hours on end. A world where parents are afraid to disappoint their children. A world where suffering is seen as a problem to be avoided at all costs. A world where a woman can choose to kill her baby merely because she doesn’t want it. A world where people stare at their screens instead of each other. A world where the Son of God has been crucified. A world where the devil takes claim.
Does this sound despairing? It does. I have had a case of the winter doldrums the past few days trying not to despair. Reminding myself that we can never lose hope because we know what lies ahead and we know who is truly in charge. God our loving father. He sends us angels to guide and protect us. He gives us the promise of eternal life. He fills us with a love like no human can.
I have been praying for Him to show me some good in the world outside of my family. It has not been a dramatic enlightenment for me. I have had to really search for it but I found it in a few places. He sent me a smiling face in the store the other day. A kind woman who smiled at me and my little one. She even took time to chat about how beautiful little children are. My niece sent me a snap on Monday that she was given an assignment to write about someone she looked up to. She told me she wrote about me. Of all the people in her life she wrote about me, what an honor! A little boy at play group came running up to me smiling and giggling. There have been those gorgeous January sun rises this week. I listen to Relevant Radio and am filled with people who have hope and bring truth to some of the insanity happening in our world. Most importantly I must remember that He gave us His only Son as well as the resurrection and the Holy Spirit.
In this world that seems to be spinning faster and faster out of control do not lose hope, there is beauty! Pray and look for it. Surround yourself with it. Share it with others. Thank God for it!
“… Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10 NAB
Filling the Cracks in our Hearts
I try to love my family. As hard as I try I make mistakes. I let my husband and our children down. I can’t be perfect love for them. That is the deal and it won’t change. In fact as much as I would like to deny it, I am most likely the cause of some of the cracks or wounds in their hearts. There is no way to have perfect love on this earth. I try to fill all people in my life up with love. These attempts are noble. They can fill them to a point and build them up but not completely. Only God is capable of completely filling them and doing so with perfect love.
Without wounds we may not see a need to let Jesus in. If we have no cracks in our heart there is no room for His love to fill us. Our wounds can therefore be seen as gifts. This is not to say we need to create wounds, as there are enough to go around without trying to create them.
We all have wounds. They were created by people, interactions, circumstances, and/or our own sin. As awful and deep as some of them are they give us space to let Jesus in. Once we realize there is a filling for these cracks, a balm for these wounds we can ask Jesus to come into our hearts, fill them, and begin the healing. And He will! He will fill them with His love and eventually He will heal them. It will be a healing done in His time, possibly not fully until we enter His presence eternally but we will notice His work when ask and He will be there with us along the journey.
How About Mercy?
How about mercy as a New Years resolution?
Mercy is compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm (dictionary.com). This sounds simple enough. Most people do not want to harm anyone. Sometimes we just don’t notice that is what we are doing. Sometimes I want my way so badly I don’t realize that I have harmed someone. My smug grunt when I feel something is obviously stupid. My eye roll when I think someone has done something ridiculous. Staring at my phone in the midst of other people sending the message that they don’t matter because I have better things to do. There are truly many ways I harm people every day. It’s on my heart to be more intentional about how I treat others, to be more merciful.
How about every morning we pray that everyone we encounter will be shown God’s mercy through us. Starting with those in our own homes, including ourselves. Reaching out for God’s mercy in our hearts as we interact with friends and strangers around us. Smiling tenderly, making eye contact, and remembering that everyone is made in the image of God. Showing and or asking for God’s mercy in every situation, especially difficult ones.
Digging deeper into my faith on the topic of mercy I came across the Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercy. What if we use this as a guide for mercy in 2019? The fourteen things Jesus teaches us to do to help our neighbors. Fourteen things in 12 months. Mercy for all those whom we come into contact with in 2019. Think of the effect!
With all the division in our world today we need to look to God for the answer. He gives us the Golden Rule, the Ten Commandments, and tells us none of that matters if we do not put on love. It seems to me when we show mercy we are being loving. As I look at the Works of Mercy I see things I can do that aren’t fluffy and fruitless. These aren’t superficial or self-serving tasks. They are ways to serve our Lord and to bring His mercy to the world He created.
Image of the Divine Mercy from praymorenovenas.com
James 2:13For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.
(Biblehub.com/ New American Standard Bible)
May God bless you this 2019!
The Gift is a Baby
Merry Christmas!
Yes it is still Christmas even though many have already taken down their decorations and there is not a radio station playing Christmas music any longer. The stores are getting ready for spring now but we continue to celebrate a bit longer taking more than just a day to reflect on the gift of Jesus’ birth.
I had the gift of being nine months pregnant one Christmas. I thankfully got to deliver my baby in a hospital without much fear. I wonder if Mary and Joseph felt fear? My guess is that they did not. How could one feel fear when you are in the very presence of Jesus? Of course I suppose it was possible they did as He was a baby and completely in need of their care. That may have been very stressful.
Whatever they felt I am grateful for Mary’s yes, for Josephs cooperation, and for the ultimate gift of the tiny baby given to all of us from our Father in Heaven. First wrapped in Mary’s womb and then in swaddling clothes. He was laid in a manger, a feed box. Laid there as food for His people. He will sustain us for eternity if we allow Him to.
Continue your celebration of Christmas and may blessings pour down on you and yours!
Ultimate Destination Heaven 