(Photo from google images)

Parenting is um, I can’t actually think of one single word that describes it.  It is a spectrum of the purest joy to the most painful agony. You can quickly be humiliated and just as quickly swell with pride. You have little control and yet everything you do makes a difference in the well-being of your children’s lives. It holds very little status, especially when you have gone way past the perfect number of two children yet the benefits of multiple children far out weigh societies negative outlook on a large family.  Daily  there are positive character building events that take place in parenting.

I love my children second only to God and their father.  Love is a funny thing though. I have this habit of loving them to the point of overflowing when they are being kind and treating each other respectfully or when I don’t actually have to directly deal with their messes, tantrums, complaining, whining ….

For example they were all out of the house and I quietly delivered clean folded laundry into each of their rooms. I paused a moment in each room and wrote a quick note specifically for that child.  My heart actually spilled over with love for each of them as I did this.  A smile crossed my lips and I remembered sweet moments I had shared with each of them.

Then the entry door busted open.  They came piling in.  Spreading like a spilling pool of water onto the kitchen floor.   Along with them came the mud on their boots, coats and bags flying like a dust cloud. One had tears, one angrily snuck off down stairs, two were proclaiming their death because of starvation, and the oldest one was moaning about something not going his way. Oh, and the littlest one was still in the car because she had been forgotten. As I rushed out to retrieve her I thought, “Where did my swelling heart go?” My anxiety was rising and my heart was growing very irritated and I was now focusing on the mess and discontent that had entered my home along with my children.

Bedtime rolled around and they were all fed and somewhat quiet, and happy. I had the house straightened up again and I was feeling like my heart was swelling with love for my blessings. I paused and smiled. Was it that I made it through another day? Or was it that all seemed to be back in its place? Maybe partially but the truth is it just feels good to have some control in the chaos. This is where the problem lies.  Love is not to be trusted when it’s just a feeling. If I only loved my children when my heart felt full I would quickly lose sight of the treasures that they are and only see the footprints and dirt they leave behind.

The key to mastering these chaotic parenting moments is that God is in control and He gave me these children to love and lead towards Him. When I feel the irritation and the loss of control I need to ask for God to give me His view of these needy, messy, beautiful, children and He will remind me that they along with everything they bring are blessings that fill my cup.

My love for God has a comparable tendency. When I have quiet time to pray I feel so in love with my faith. Yet when life is crazy or even catastrophic I have to remind myself to let God help me.  Sometimes I almost forget He is there and begin to “fix” the situation my own way. But He is there even when my heart is pounding and my checks are flushing and my irritation or my stress is hitting record heights. He is there and ready to show me the blessings that surround me and fill my heart.  He is there reminding me that He has given me many precious gifts that I should be thankful for and love even when it is hard to do.

Parenting is a beautiful, fragile, challenging, loving gift from God.  So each day I will ask Him for His help to remind me that even if my cup is overflowing onto my clean kitchen floor it is because it is full of His blessings.

“…My cup overflows.“

-Psalm 23:5 New American Bible