Posted on by Charly

What Kind of World Do We Live In?

(Photo: pixbay.com)

It seems a world where peaceful children can be brutally harassed by adults. A world where men can lose their job and their character is slandered based on accusation. A world where adults think it’s loving to allow children to do whatever makes them happy. A world where we are afraid to send our children outside to play but not afraid to let them play murderous games on their gaming systems for hours on end. A world where parents are afraid to disappoint their children. A world where suffering is seen as a problem to be avoided at all costs. A world where a woman can choose to kill her baby merely because she doesn’t want it. A world where people stare at their screens instead of each other. A world where the Son of God has been crucified. A world where the devil takes claim.

Does this sound despairing? It does. I have had a case of the winter doldrums the past few days trying not to despair.  Reminding myself that we can never lose hope because we know what lies ahead and we know who is truly in charge. God our loving father. He sends us angels to guide and protect us. He gives us the promise of eternal life. He fills us with a love like no human can.

I have been praying for Him to show me some good in the world outside of my family.  It has not been a dramatic enlightenment for me.  I have had to really search for it but I found it in a few places.  He sent me a smiling face in the store the other day. A kind woman who smiled at me and my little one.  She even took time to chat about how beautiful little children are.  My niece sent me a snap on Monday that she was given an assignment to write about someone she looked up to. She told me she wrote about me. Of all the people in her life she wrote about me, what an honor! A little boy at play group came running up to me smiling and giggling. There have been those gorgeous January sun rises this week. I listen to Relevant Radio and am filled with people who have hope and bring truth to some of the insanity happening in our world. Most importantly I must remember that He gave us His only Son as well as the resurrection and the Holy Spirit.

In this world that seems to be spinning faster and faster out of control do not lose hope, there is beauty! Pray and look for it. Surround yourself with it. Share it with others. Thank God for it!

“… Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”  Nehemiah 8:10 NAB

Posted on by Charly

Filling the Cracks in our Hearts

I try to love my family. As hard as I try I make mistakes. I let my husband and our children down. I can’t be perfect love for them. That is the deal and it won’t change.  In fact as much as I would like to deny it, I am most likely the cause of some of the cracks or wounds in their hearts.  There is no way to have perfect love on this earth. I try to fill all people in my life up with love. These attempts are noble. They can fill them to a point and build them up but not completely. Only God is capable of completely filling them and doing so with perfect love.

Without wounds we may not see a need to let Jesus in.  If we have no cracks in our heart there is no room for His love to fill us.  Our wounds can therefore be seen as gifts.  This is not to say we need to create wounds, as there are enough to go around without trying to create them.

We all have wounds. They were created by people, interactions, circumstances, and/or our own sin. As awful and deep as some of them are they give us space to let Jesus in. Once we realize there is a filling for these cracks, a balm for these wounds  we can ask Jesus to come into our hearts, fill them, and begin the healing.  And He will! He will fill them with His love and eventually He will heal them.  It will be a healing done in His time, possibly not fully until we enter His presence eternally but we will notice His work when ask and He will be there with us along the journey.

 

Posted on by Charly

Advent To Do List:

(Photo from pixbay)

I have been making lists for years.  Things always get checked off but the next day a new list is created.  December’s to do list is especially long and difficult to finish.  I started out this advent season listening to some podcasts while making my list of gift ideas.  Father Mike Schmitz always engages me and his homely the first Sunday of Advent was especially thought-provoking.  I stopped writing my list and listened carefully.

Father Mike Schmitz said, “You are going to die.  The date you will die is December 25.”  In other words that don’t get your attention quite as fiercely as those, “You are going to die and you will meet Jesus! So don’t just clean your house, decorate it beautifully, and buy great gifts for loved ones but prepare your heart for meeting Him! “Get ready now!’ He said.

My mom’s dying words were, “Lord help me.” She met Him. I know we will all meet Jesus. Whether we love Him or not we will come face to face with Him. I am working on getting my heart ready for that meeting whether it is December 25 or not I want to be ready.

We may meet Him before our death. Here was a new take on the second coming of Jesus. It was from Father James at mass this past Sunday.  He took a view I have never considered.  He said something like this; Jesus will have a second coming.  What if He is trying to right now through you?  Are you listening? Are you obeying? Do you love Him enough that others can “see Him through you”?

Can others see Jesus through me? As I let that settle in my mind it rattles me. I have knowledge of Jesus and even a deep relationship with Him but does that bring others to know Him? I have some sharing to do!

This year I am adding two things to my advent to-do list.  Two things that will be harder than decorating my house with all the little helpful hands I have.  Harder than finding and buying gifts for those in my life.  Harder than finding time to get my whole family together to get a Christmas tree.  Harder yet so much more meaningful!

Additions to my Advent to-do List:

  • Clean up my heart
  • Bring Jesus to others
Posted on by Charly

Loneliness

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In spite of my unworthiness He; the King of the Universe and Creator of the World chooses me. He allows me to receive His very body and blood and to have a meaningful relationship with Him. This alone should keep me from spells of loneliness. To know that I have the Almighty Father as a guide, a friend, and a savior reminds me that I am never truly alone. Yet sometimes, especially this time of year when the days are short, the air is cold, and life seems frozen in grey tones my feelings can overshadow reason and a sad lonely cloud envelopes me.

I am at the cemetery where my mom is buried staring at a tree. It stands bare and alone on the snowy winter landscape. This tree has all it needs; soil, water, and sunshine yet it looks lonely to me. By design that tree has no feelings. It doesn’t feel left out even though just 100 yards away there is a whole forest of trees that are together. If I were in its spot alone and exposed I would be sad and lonely. It took me a while of staring before I realized that Jesus has felt this too. It seems there is nothing He didn’t feel when He took on human form.  He felt so many terrible feelings during the crucifixion.  I believe loneliness was included, afterall He asked God “Why have you abandoned me?”

I learned long ago in my elementary science class that all animals need to survive is food, water, and shelter. Maybe that is all other species need but as humans we also need meaningful relationships. We have a painful desire deep in their heart to have others around us who truly care for us. That tree may survive and even thrive in its’ lonely spot. The woodland animals nearby can serve their purpose by taking the food, water, and shelter provided to them. Us humans though, we will merely survive with only food, water, and shelter.

Relationships with people can partially fill that loneliness inside of us.  God can fill it completely.  Even though we are not worthy He chooses us, He wants to be with each one of us to care for our needs and bring us into eternity with Him. He provides the people He wants in our lives we just have to notice, take time to see them, and welcome them into our lives. Ironic or maybe so obvious that I don’t even think about it but when the sun shines and it’s a bright beautiful day I don’t feel lonely. Maybe that’s a reminder that like the sun the Son wipes away my loneliness.

Posted on by Charly

His Will

I feel like God is nudging me to get out of my comfy prayer corner and get my hands dirty.  My mind is like a mess of spaghetti, ideas flowing all over and around each other.  I would love to take my family on a mission trip to some far away country.  I would like to head down to the border and help care for the thousands of South American people that are coming to the US.  I would like to go to Minneapolis and help out at Sharing and Caring Hands.  I’d like to serve Him by tutoring the kids and adults.  I’d like to teach CCD. I’d like to take in foster kids.   I’d like to sell all my belongings and just serve people. These are lofty ideas when you have six kids to care for and three businesses to run.  Thank God some people are called to serve in these ways.  As much as I would love to do something huge and impactful like Mother Theresa or Mary Jo Copeland it isn’t what God is calling me to right now.

When I pray about His will in my life I keep hearing Mother Teresa’s words, “Go home and love your family.”  Sometimes I just want an adventure! I know in my heart I am doing important work by supporting and working with my husband and raising our children.  Yet I still feel a call to get out of my comfortable prayer chair and do something.  Maybe He is calling me to be more joyful in the sometimes monotonous duties of raising a family.  This thought makes me think of the Little Flower, St. Terese of Lisieux who never did anything “huge” yet served our Lord with her whole heart.

I was reminded at mass this weekend that Jesus is coming again and we don’t know when. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. I need to be ready. I need to be doing what the Lord wants me to be doing.  For now I will continue to pray for His guidance and  serve my family, the family that God himself has blessed me with.

Posted on by Charly

Give Until It Hurts

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It’s not a new thing for me to give away old clothes.  I often, ok maybe every few years, will stuff a bag or a box full of old things I don’t wear anymore and drop them off at a second-hand shop or a women’s shelter.  It is not usually very difficult.  I don’t really like the stuff anymore and that is why it goes.

This box of clothes is different.  It is filled with clothes that belonged to my mom.  Things she wore.  Things that touched her and absorbed her warmth.  Things that protected her from the chill and the rain.  She has been gone for a little over a year and these clothes at first sat in my dresser or in my closet.  I wore some of them and plan to keep a couple of things but the truth is they don’t fit me and so keeping them is keeping them away from someone who might really use them.  Her scent is gone from them.  They now smell like anything thing else in my house.  Looking at them doesn’t bring her back.  She doesn’t magically fill them up and talk to me when I hold them up.  Why then is it so hard to put them in the car and take them away?

I think of the two women we heard about in church this past Sunday.  One is ready to prepare her last meal for herself and her son when the Lord asks her to share with Elijah.  Knowing it is all the food she has left she chooses to trust the Lord.  He does not disappoint as her flour and oil replenish until the drought ends giving her, her son, and Elijah enough food to survive.  The other women gives all she has to the church.  Just two small coins.  They gave it all and I am merely struggling with giving from my surplus.  It helps to put my dilemma into perspective.  I am not even close to giving all that I have.  It isn’t even all that I have left of my mom, just her clothes.  Which she has no need for because she is now clothed in God’s love for all eternity.

It is difficult to part with things, because it hurts.  It’s not the things I will miss it’s the memories they conjure up.  It puts lump in my chest and bring tears to the corners of my eyes to even think about giving her things away.  However it is November and Thanksgiving is approaching.  I spent almost 40 Thanksgivings with my mom and this will be the second one that I can’t spend with her.  We always shared what we were grateful for at the Thanksgiving table.  I clearly remember that last Thanksgiving I spent with her.  We thought her cancer was in remission and with tears in our eyes and big smiles on our lips we all said how grateful we were to be there together.  Not knowing for sure it was our last but knowing that it was a possibility that it would be the last Thanksgiving we would spend together.  In this world of violence, division, and lack of love I am grateful that I grew up in a family where love for me was plenty!  I am going to take a deep breath and have my husband take this box to a local women’s shelter where these clothes can give a little bit of dignity and love to women in need.  Even though it hurts my mom would be grateful to be a part of this gift.

Posted on by Charly

This Land is Parching

(Photo from the Catholic Company on Pinterest)

I don’t remember it word for word but here is my version of a story I heard years ago:

She was small. She was delicate. She seemed insignificant. She was one of a million that were falling from the sky this winter day. As she made her decent she sparkled in the sun and twirled in the wind. She didn’t realize how following her path down through the atmosphere she would be the one who would make a difference. Her landing was soft amongst a million others who had settled on the branch of a spruce tree. As soon as she settled there was a loud crack. The whole branch snapped off and fell to the ground. It had taken her weight to make the break complete. Just a small, delicate, seemingly insignificant snowflake.

This story was used to point out how we can be significant even in our smallness. I think about my “snowflake”. My small yet significant contribution to serving God in this world. I have decided to make it be my smile. Smiling acknowledges humanity in another person. I can share it anywhere with anyone and it will never be used up. Smiles can change the world.

In this land that is parching, not for lack of water but for lack of love, we need to be the rain for one another. God will fill us with His grace and then we can rain down love and compassion upon His creation. Is a simple smile the answer to all of the worlds evil? No I’m sure it’s not. But I can’t smile without looking into someone’s eyes and taking a moment to see them. This can be a sign to someone that they matter. That they are important enough to be noticed. That can make a difference. Find your “snowflake” and share it with everyone you meet.

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Posted on by Charly

The Journey Begins

Well here it is the first post.  The journey begins with the first step so they say. Actually this is about my fourth step. I have created and deleted about three blogs in the past 10 years.  This one is a bit more focused but promises to be messy as no journey ever goes exactly according to plan.  I like to write. I’m working on a book. The goal is to finish it. Ok so the ultimate goal is to get to heaven, but there are little goals along the way.  I want to glorify God in my writing and this happens by searching for him in everyday situations. I found my first grey hair this past weekend. I think it may be a sign that I am in fact getting closer to heaven than I want to admit or at least closer to old age.  Whoever said having kids keeps you young most likely was a very optimistic person. I think having 3 teenagers, 2 elementary age kids, and a toddler may have given me my first grey hair.  Quite a miracle really that I only have one.  I do hope I earn the beautiful grey hair that is so in fashion right now. Although for those of you that know me fashion and hair really aren’t my thing. I enjoy my tennis shoes and T-shirt’s way too much. So anyway as I share my journey towards heaven I do pray that you will join me in trying to make sense of Gods call for us all to join Him for eternity.  As Paul writes to the Philippians: “their minds are occupied with earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven.” Phil 3: 19-20 let us not be the ones whose minds are occupied with earthly things like grey hairs!

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