Posted on by Charly

Is My Heart Drowsy?

Image result for sleepy heart(Sleepy heart by drawception.com)

Advent is fast approaching.  It is a time to reflect and prepare for the coming of Christ.  We were reminded last weekend that He is our king.  How do we sufficiently prepare for the king of the universe? It sounds quite overwhelming.  I’m sure it’s something like preparing our homes for the Christmas holiday but in a way that bears our true self not just the neat and tidy version.  This coming Sunday we will hear “Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy from carousing and drunkenness and the anxieties of daily life…” Luke 21:34

Carousing and drunkenness do not seem to be issues I struggle with.  Usually when reading this passage of scripture I just skim it over and arrogantly think,  “I don’t become drowsy from those things, so I’m okay.”   I am not a naturally anxious person, even so the anxieties of everyday life can take over my mind. Thank God for this month of Advent to remind me to take a step back and slow down.  Not a time to worry about the perfect gifts to get, the perfect photos for the Christmas card, what we will all wear for Christmas dinner, or the most beautiful Christmas decorations, but a time to pray through each of these “anxieties”.  My trust needs to be in the Lord.

One word caught me off guard as I read this passage.  The word “heart”.  I am somewhat relieved it does not say do not let your eyes become drowsy because I often feel like closing them and catching a nap!  My heart though, what does it mean for it to get drowsy?  I’m sure it isn’t in the sense of it’s beating, as we can not control that.  It could mean in the sense of getting tired of loving.  There are people who are difficult to love.  I need to remind myself that the lord himself loves every human and although I may become irritated or frustrated by them my heart should desire their good.  It is time to prepare my heart for the coming of our king by not allowing it to get drowsy.  So while my focus may seem to be on preparing my home, my children’s gifts, and the annual Christmas letter I need to beware of the state of my heart!

Things to do to protect your heart from drowsiness:

Pray and read the Bible, strengthen your relationship with Jesus.

Receive the sacraments.

See everyone you come in contact with as a child of God.

Seek wisdom and knowledge from people whose faith is strong.

Give time, talent, and treasure.

Share Jesus with others!

Posted on by Charly

His Will

I feel like God is nudging me to get out of my comfy prayer corner and get my hands dirty.  My mind is like a mess of spaghetti, ideas flowing all over and around each other.  I would love to take my family on a mission trip to some far away country.  I would like to head down to the border and help care for the thousands of South American people that are coming to the US.  I would like to go to Minneapolis and help out at Sharing and Caring Hands.  I’d like to serve Him by tutoring the kids and adults.  I’d like to teach CCD. I’d like to take in foster kids.   I’d like to sell all my belongings and just serve people. These are lofty ideas when you have six kids to care for and three businesses to run.  Thank God some people are called to serve in these ways.  As much as I would love to do something huge and impactful like Mother Theresa or Mary Jo Copeland it isn’t what God is calling me to right now.

When I pray about His will in my life I keep hearing Mother Teresa’s words, “Go home and love your family.”  Sometimes I just want an adventure! I know in my heart I am doing important work by supporting and working with my husband and raising our children.  Yet I still feel a call to get out of my comfortable prayer chair and do something.  Maybe He is calling me to be more joyful in the sometimes monotonous duties of raising a family.  This thought makes me think of the Little Flower, St. Terese of Lisieux who never did anything “huge” yet served our Lord with her whole heart.

I was reminded at mass this weekend that Jesus is coming again and we don’t know when. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. I need to be ready. I need to be doing what the Lord wants me to be doing.  For now I will continue to pray for His guidance and  serve my family, the family that God himself has blessed me with.

Posted on by Charly

Give Until It Hurts

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It’s not a new thing for me to give away old clothes.  I often, ok maybe every few years, will stuff a bag or a box full of old things I don’t wear anymore and drop them off at a second-hand shop or a women’s shelter.  It is not usually very difficult.  I don’t really like the stuff anymore and that is why it goes.

This box of clothes is different.  It is filled with clothes that belonged to my mom.  Things she wore.  Things that touched her and absorbed her warmth.  Things that protected her from the chill and the rain.  She has been gone for a little over a year and these clothes at first sat in my dresser or in my closet.  I wore some of them and plan to keep a couple of things but the truth is they don’t fit me and so keeping them is keeping them away from someone who might really use them.  Her scent is gone from them.  They now smell like anything thing else in my house.  Looking at them doesn’t bring her back.  She doesn’t magically fill them up and talk to me when I hold them up.  Why then is it so hard to put them in the car and take them away?

I think of the two women we heard about in church this past Sunday.  One is ready to prepare her last meal for herself and her son when the Lord asks her to share with Elijah.  Knowing it is all the food she has left she chooses to trust the Lord.  He does not disappoint as her flour and oil replenish until the drought ends giving her, her son, and Elijah enough food to survive.  The other women gives all she has to the church.  Just two small coins.  They gave it all and I am merely struggling with giving from my surplus.  It helps to put my dilemma into perspective.  I am not even close to giving all that I have.  It isn’t even all that I have left of my mom, just her clothes.  Which she has no need for because she is now clothed in God’s love for all eternity.

It is difficult to part with things, because it hurts.  It’s not the things I will miss it’s the memories they conjure up.  It puts lump in my chest and bring tears to the corners of my eyes to even think about giving her things away.  However it is November and Thanksgiving is approaching.  I spent almost 40 Thanksgivings with my mom and this will be the second one that I can’t spend with her.  We always shared what we were grateful for at the Thanksgiving table.  I clearly remember that last Thanksgiving I spent with her.  We thought her cancer was in remission and with tears in our eyes and big smiles on our lips we all said how grateful we were to be there together.  Not knowing for sure it was our last but knowing that it was a possibility that it would be the last Thanksgiving we would spend together.  In this world of violence, division, and lack of love I am grateful that I grew up in a family where love for me was plenty!  I am going to take a deep breath and have my husband take this box to a local women’s shelter where these clothes can give a little bit of dignity and love to women in need.  Even though it hurts my mom would be grateful to be a part of this gift.