Posted on by Charly

Filling the Cracks in our Hearts

I try to love my family. As hard as I try I make mistakes. I let my husband and our children down. I can’t be perfect love for them. That is the deal and it won’t change.  In fact as much as I would like to deny it, I am most likely the cause of some of the cracks or wounds in their hearts.  There is no way to have perfect love on this earth. I try to fill all people in my life up with love. These attempts are noble. They can fill them to a point and build them up but not completely. Only God is capable of completely filling them and doing so with perfect love.

Without wounds we may not see a need to let Jesus in.  If we have no cracks in our heart there is no room for His love to fill us.  Our wounds can therefore be seen as gifts.  This is not to say we need to create wounds, as there are enough to go around without trying to create them.

We all have wounds. They were created by people, interactions, circumstances, and/or our own sin. As awful and deep as some of them are they give us space to let Jesus in. Once we realize there is a filling for these cracks, a balm for these wounds  we can ask Jesus to come into our hearts, fill them, and begin the healing.  And He will! He will fill them with His love and eventually He will heal them.  It will be a healing done in His time, possibly not fully until we enter His presence eternally but we will notice His work when ask and He will be there with us along the journey.

 

Posted on by Charly

How About Mercy?

How about mercy as a New Years resolution?

Mercy is compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm (dictionary.com). This sounds simple enough. Most people do not want to harm anyone. Sometimes we just don’t notice that is what we are doing. Sometimes I want my way so badly I don’t realize that I have harmed someone. My smug grunt when I feel something is obviously stupid. My eye roll when I think someone has done something ridiculous. Staring at my phone in the midst of other people sending the message that they don’t matter because I have better things to do. There are truly many ways I harm people every day. It’s on my heart to be more intentional about how I treat others, to be more merciful.

How about every morning we pray that everyone we encounter will be shown God’s mercy through us. Starting with those in our own homes, including ourselves. Reaching out for God’s mercy in our hearts as we interact with friends and strangers around us. Smiling tenderly, making eye contact, and remembering that everyone is made in the image of God. Showing and or asking for God’s mercy in every situation, especially difficult ones.

Digging deeper into my faith on the topic of mercy I came across the Spiritual and Corporal Works of Mercy.  What if we use this as a guide for mercy in 2019? The fourteen things Jesus teaches us to do to help our neighbors. Fourteen things in 12 months. Mercy for all those whom we come into contact with in 2019. Think of the effect!

With all the division in our world today we need to look to God for the answer. He gives us the Golden Rule, the Ten Commandments, and tells us none of that matters if we do not put on love. It seems to me when we show mercy we are being loving. As I look at the Works of Mercy I see things I can do that aren’t fluffy and fruitless. These aren’t superficial or self-serving tasks. They are ways to serve our Lord and to bring His mercy to the world He created.

Image of the Divine Mercy from praymorenovenas.com

James 2:13For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.

(Biblehub.com/ New American Standard Bible)

May God bless you this 2019!

 

Posted on by Charly

The Gift is a Baby

Merry Christmas!

Yes it is still Christmas even though many have already taken down their decorations and there is not a radio station playing Christmas music any longer. The stores are getting ready for spring now but we continue to celebrate a bit longer taking more than just a day to reflect on the gift of Jesus’ birth.

I had the gift of being nine months pregnant one Christmas. I thankfully got to deliver my baby in a hospital without much fear. I wonder if Mary and Joseph felt fear? My guess is that they did not. How could one feel fear when you are in the very presence of Jesus? Of course I suppose it was possible they did as He was a baby and completely in need of their care. That may have been very stressful.

Whatever they felt I am grateful for Mary’s yes, for Josephs cooperation, and for the ultimate gift of the tiny baby given to all of us from our Father in Heaven. First wrapped in Mary’s womb and then in swaddling clothes. He was laid in a manger, a feed box. Laid there as food for His people. He will sustain us for eternity if we allow Him to.

Continue your celebration of Christmas and may blessings pour down on you and yours!

Posted on by Charly

Joy

This week we are reminded to rejoice. We have a savior and he has already won the battle for us. As we sang “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel” this past Sunday at mass I noticed I was not paying much attention until the words “rejoice rejoice” brought a smile to my face as I realized I can have joy no matter what is going on in this crazy world because I have Jesus. It reminded me of a little acrostic that the kids brought home from school. The J is for Jesus. The O is for others. The Y is for yourself.

When I struggle to be joyful in a world full of darkness and despair I remind myself to put Jesus first in my life by engaging in mass, praying, reading the Bible, receiving the sacraments, spending time at adoration, and simply being hopeful in the Lord.

Then I focus on those around me, others. What can I do to help them find joy? Maybe just a smile or a word of encouragement. Maybe I need to cook, bake, or clean for them. Maybe they need to be lifted up in prayer. Maybe I can find joy again by serving others.

Last only because it keeps me humble and not because I am unimportant; is to look inward. To look and see if my needs are being met. Am I getting enough rest, nutritious food, exercise, and enjoyment?

When I am lacking in joy the answer is short and sweet. It is seemingly simple yet can be a daily struggle to keep in perspective:

Jesus

Others

Yourself

Posted on by Charly

Advent To Do List:

(Photo from pixbay)

I have been making lists for years.  Things always get checked off but the next day a new list is created.  December’s to do list is especially long and difficult to finish.  I started out this advent season listening to some podcasts while making my list of gift ideas.  Father Mike Schmitz always engages me and his homely the first Sunday of Advent was especially thought-provoking.  I stopped writing my list and listened carefully.

Father Mike Schmitz said, “You are going to die.  The date you will die is December 25.”  In other words that don’t get your attention quite as fiercely as those, “You are going to die and you will meet Jesus! So don’t just clean your house, decorate it beautifully, and buy great gifts for loved ones but prepare your heart for meeting Him! “Get ready now!’ He said.

My mom’s dying words were, “Lord help me.” She met Him. I know we will all meet Jesus. Whether we love Him or not we will come face to face with Him. I am working on getting my heart ready for that meeting whether it is December 25 or not I want to be ready.

We may meet Him before our death. Here was a new take on the second coming of Jesus. It was from Father James at mass this past Sunday.  He took a view I have never considered.  He said something like this; Jesus will have a second coming.  What if He is trying to right now through you?  Are you listening? Are you obeying? Do you love Him enough that others can “see Him through you”?

Can others see Jesus through me? As I let that settle in my mind it rattles me. I have knowledge of Jesus and even a deep relationship with Him but does that bring others to know Him? I have some sharing to do!

This year I am adding two things to my advent to-do list.  Two things that will be harder than decorating my house with all the little helpful hands I have.  Harder than finding and buying gifts for those in my life.  Harder than finding time to get my whole family together to get a Christmas tree.  Harder yet so much more meaningful!

Additions to my Advent to-do List:

  • Clean up my heart
  • Bring Jesus to others
Posted on by Charly

The Santa Tradition

Image of St. Nicholas

(Photo from http://www.catholic.org/saints)

Happy Feast of St. Nicholas!

I hope your shoes were full this morning.  I was kind of hoping for the money flying in through the window.  Just kidding I should be the one throwing money to the poor.  I was reading up last night on poverty and realized that in the majority of the world, my blue-collar family is considered rich.  That put things into perspective and has me on the search for meaningful ways to help the poor.  But back on to the topic of Santa.

I know people who do not like to have the tradition of Santa as part of their Christmas celebration and I can respect and understand that.  Christmas is about Jesus being the best gift we could ever hope for.  We celebrate the preparation time of Advent with candles and prayers.  We wrap up all of our baby Jesus’ and hide them away until Dec 24th. Then on Christmas Eve we open them up and place them throughout the house at all of the manger scenes.  We celebrate midnight mass and have birthday cake for breakfast Christmas morning.  My kids know that Christmas is about Jesus.

We do include Santa in our celebration.  He visits us at our extended family gathering on Christmas Eve and later when the kids are sleeping he drops off some gifts.  When they are still young and start to ask about this big, jolly,  strange man we tell them that Santa is the spirit of St. Nicholas. They learn about St. Nicholas on his feast day with books, movies, and of course they even put their shoes out to get some goodies.  As they get older and realize how it really works they laugh and smile and share in the secret.

I promise they are not scared for life because of the Santa tradition.  I do believe if we left out the part about St. Nicholas or even celebrated Christmas as a holiday for Santa and forgot that it is actually about Jesus our Savior that people would be scared and left empty.  Then it really just becomes a day to accumulate more stuff.  Giving and even receiving without love is empty.  And God is love so without Him Santa is just a big creepy elf who supposedly breaks into houses through chimneys and leaves presents for children.

Keep Christ in Christmas and in your heart!

Posted on by Charly

Loneliness

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In spite of my unworthiness He; the King of the Universe and Creator of the World chooses me. He allows me to receive His very body and blood and to have a meaningful relationship with Him. This alone should keep me from spells of loneliness. To know that I have the Almighty Father as a guide, a friend, and a savior reminds me that I am never truly alone. Yet sometimes, especially this time of year when the days are short, the air is cold, and life seems frozen in grey tones my feelings can overshadow reason and a sad lonely cloud envelopes me.

I am at the cemetery where my mom is buried staring at a tree. It stands bare and alone on the snowy winter landscape. This tree has all it needs; soil, water, and sunshine yet it looks lonely to me. By design that tree has no feelings. It doesn’t feel left out even though just 100 yards away there is a whole forest of trees that are together. If I were in its spot alone and exposed I would be sad and lonely. It took me a while of staring before I realized that Jesus has felt this too. It seems there is nothing He didn’t feel when He took on human form.  He felt so many terrible feelings during the crucifixion.  I believe loneliness was included, afterall He asked God “Why have you abandoned me?”

I learned long ago in my elementary science class that all animals need to survive is food, water, and shelter. Maybe that is all other species need but as humans we also need meaningful relationships. We have a painful desire deep in their heart to have others around us who truly care for us. That tree may survive and even thrive in its’ lonely spot. The woodland animals nearby can serve their purpose by taking the food, water, and shelter provided to them. Us humans though, we will merely survive with only food, water, and shelter.

Relationships with people can partially fill that loneliness inside of us.  God can fill it completely.  Even though we are not worthy He chooses us, He wants to be with each one of us to care for our needs and bring us into eternity with Him. He provides the people He wants in our lives we just have to notice, take time to see them, and welcome them into our lives. Ironic or maybe so obvious that I don’t even think about it but when the sun shines and it’s a bright beautiful day I don’t feel lonely. Maybe that’s a reminder that like the sun the Son wipes away my loneliness.

Posted on by Charly

Is My Heart Drowsy?

Image result for sleepy heart(Sleepy heart by drawception.com)

Advent is fast approaching.  It is a time to reflect and prepare for the coming of Christ.  We were reminded last weekend that He is our king.  How do we sufficiently prepare for the king of the universe? It sounds quite overwhelming.  I’m sure it’s something like preparing our homes for the Christmas holiday but in a way that bears our true self not just the neat and tidy version.  This coming Sunday we will hear “Beware that your hearts do not become drowsy from carousing and drunkenness and the anxieties of daily life…” Luke 21:34

Carousing and drunkenness do not seem to be issues I struggle with.  Usually when reading this passage of scripture I just skim it over and arrogantly think,  “I don’t become drowsy from those things, so I’m okay.”   I am not a naturally anxious person, even so the anxieties of everyday life can take over my mind. Thank God for this month of Advent to remind me to take a step back and slow down.  Not a time to worry about the perfect gifts to get, the perfect photos for the Christmas card, what we will all wear for Christmas dinner, or the most beautiful Christmas decorations, but a time to pray through each of these “anxieties”.  My trust needs to be in the Lord.

One word caught me off guard as I read this passage.  The word “heart”.  I am somewhat relieved it does not say do not let your eyes become drowsy because I often feel like closing them and catching a nap!  My heart though, what does it mean for it to get drowsy?  I’m sure it isn’t in the sense of it’s beating, as we can not control that.  It could mean in the sense of getting tired of loving.  There are people who are difficult to love.  I need to remind myself that the lord himself loves every human and although I may become irritated or frustrated by them my heart should desire their good.  It is time to prepare my heart for the coming of our king by not allowing it to get drowsy.  So while my focus may seem to be on preparing my home, my children’s gifts, and the annual Christmas letter I need to beware of the state of my heart!

Things to do to protect your heart from drowsiness:

Pray and read the Bible, strengthen your relationship with Jesus.

Receive the sacraments.

See everyone you come in contact with as a child of God.

Seek wisdom and knowledge from people whose faith is strong.

Give time, talent, and treasure.

Share Jesus with others!

Posted on by Charly

His Will

I feel like God is nudging me to get out of my comfy prayer corner and get my hands dirty.  My mind is like a mess of spaghetti, ideas flowing all over and around each other.  I would love to take my family on a mission trip to some far away country.  I would like to head down to the border and help care for the thousands of South American people that are coming to the US.  I would like to go to Minneapolis and help out at Sharing and Caring Hands.  I’d like to serve Him by tutoring the kids and adults.  I’d like to teach CCD. I’d like to take in foster kids.   I’d like to sell all my belongings and just serve people. These are lofty ideas when you have six kids to care for and three businesses to run.  Thank God some people are called to serve in these ways.  As much as I would love to do something huge and impactful like Mother Theresa or Mary Jo Copeland it isn’t what God is calling me to right now.

When I pray about His will in my life I keep hearing Mother Teresa’s words, “Go home and love your family.”  Sometimes I just want an adventure! I know in my heart I am doing important work by supporting and working with my husband and raising our children.  Yet I still feel a call to get out of my comfortable prayer chair and do something.  Maybe He is calling me to be more joyful in the sometimes monotonous duties of raising a family.  This thought makes me think of the Little Flower, St. Terese of Lisieux who never did anything “huge” yet served our Lord with her whole heart.

I was reminded at mass this weekend that Jesus is coming again and we don’t know when. It could be today. It could be tomorrow. I need to be ready. I need to be doing what the Lord wants me to be doing.  For now I will continue to pray for His guidance and  serve my family, the family that God himself has blessed me with.

Posted on by Charly

Give Until It Hurts

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It’s not a new thing for me to give away old clothes.  I often, ok maybe every few years, will stuff a bag or a box full of old things I don’t wear anymore and drop them off at a second-hand shop or a women’s shelter.  It is not usually very difficult.  I don’t really like the stuff anymore and that is why it goes.

This box of clothes is different.  It is filled with clothes that belonged to my mom.  Things she wore.  Things that touched her and absorbed her warmth.  Things that protected her from the chill and the rain.  She has been gone for a little over a year and these clothes at first sat in my dresser or in my closet.  I wore some of them and plan to keep a couple of things but the truth is they don’t fit me and so keeping them is keeping them away from someone who might really use them.  Her scent is gone from them.  They now smell like anything thing else in my house.  Looking at them doesn’t bring her back.  She doesn’t magically fill them up and talk to me when I hold them up.  Why then is it so hard to put them in the car and take them away?

I think of the two women we heard about in church this past Sunday.  One is ready to prepare her last meal for herself and her son when the Lord asks her to share with Elijah.  Knowing it is all the food she has left she chooses to trust the Lord.  He does not disappoint as her flour and oil replenish until the drought ends giving her, her son, and Elijah enough food to survive.  The other women gives all she has to the church.  Just two small coins.  They gave it all and I am merely struggling with giving from my surplus.  It helps to put my dilemma into perspective.  I am not even close to giving all that I have.  It isn’t even all that I have left of my mom, just her clothes.  Which she has no need for because she is now clothed in God’s love for all eternity.

It is difficult to part with things, because it hurts.  It’s not the things I will miss it’s the memories they conjure up.  It puts lump in my chest and bring tears to the corners of my eyes to even think about giving her things away.  However it is November and Thanksgiving is approaching.  I spent almost 40 Thanksgivings with my mom and this will be the second one that I can’t spend with her.  We always shared what we were grateful for at the Thanksgiving table.  I clearly remember that last Thanksgiving I spent with her.  We thought her cancer was in remission and with tears in our eyes and big smiles on our lips we all said how grateful we were to be there together.  Not knowing for sure it was our last but knowing that it was a possibility that it would be the last Thanksgiving we would spend together.  In this world of violence, division, and lack of love I am grateful that I grew up in a family where love for me was plenty!  I am going to take a deep breath and have my husband take this box to a local women’s shelter where these clothes can give a little bit of dignity and love to women in need.  Even though it hurts my mom would be grateful to be a part of this gift.